Today was a really tough day for me. A real heartbreaker. I’ll spare you the details. What’s important is that I’m choosing to be bold enough to admit this to myself. And to you, reader. This is me being vulnerable and open and admitting that today was a day I felt defeated.
I don’t know if my diet and the physical strains of my competition prep are wearing me thin (no pun intended), but I just felt so dangerously close to my limit today. I had to handle some personal stuff which really, looking at the big picture, is not as bad as my female mind and emotions make it out to be. Aside from that, I’ve been wracking my brain trying to sort out some technical issues I’ve been having with my domain and website. 5 years and a 2-year (failed) relationship later, I didn’t realise that I should have absolutely paid attention to the details of a domain purchase. Ugh. Even email backtracking (for the past three hours) didn’t help in gathering the information I needed to sort out my website problems.
Then my precocious and curious little 4-and-a-half was constantly in my ear with a million questions about outer space, which, when answered, brings about more questions from his intrigued mind. I applaud his curiosity and desire to learn. But today, this solo mom just felt a little overwhelmed, stretched out, tapped out, and alone.
I think it’s okay to admit it, you know? That you CAN’T do it all by yourself. As strong and independent as women like to portray themselves to others, I think we all still really want to know there’s someone who can and will catch us when we can no longer hold ourselves up. Sometimes it’s a sibling, sometimes it’s a parent. Sometimes it’s a spouse or a best friend. But some days, you’ll have to catch yourself.